Past
I can see clearly now the rain has gone
Marriage
When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I’ve got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.
Suddenly I didn’t know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly. She didn’t seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why?
I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn’t talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Jane. I didn’t love her anymore. I just pitied her!
With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company. She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Jane so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.
The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn’t have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Jane. When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.
In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn’t want anything from me, but needed a month’s notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month’s time and she didn’t want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.
This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day. She requested that every day for the month’s duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.
I told Jane about my wife’s divorce conditions. . She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully.
My wife and I hadn’t had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mommy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don’t tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.
On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn’t looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.
On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me. On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn’t tell Jane about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.
She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily.
Suddenly it hit me… she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head. Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it’s time to carry mom out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day.
But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn’t noticed that our life lacked intimacy. I drove to office…. jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind…I walked upstairs. Jane opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Jane, I do not want the divorce anymore.
She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Jane, I said, I won’t divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn’t value the details of our lives, not because we didn’t love each other anymore. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart. Jane seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away. At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I’ll carry you out every morning until death do us apart.
That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed -dead. My wife had been fighting CANCER for months and I was so busy with Jane to even notice. She knew that she would die soon and she wanted to save me from the whatever negative reaction from our son, in case we push through with the divorce.— At least, in the eyes of our son—- I’m a loving husband….
The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves.
So find time to be your spouse’s friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage.
..pasando las horas pensando
Suddenly I didn’t know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly. She didn’t seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why?
I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn’t talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Jane. I didn’t love her anymore. I just pitied her!
With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company. She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Jane so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.
The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn’t have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Jane. When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.
In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn’t want anything from me, but needed a month’s notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month’s time and she didn’t want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.
This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day. She requested that every day for the month’s duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.
I told Jane about my wife’s divorce conditions. . She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully.
My wife and I hadn’t had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mommy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don’t tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.
On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn’t looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.
On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me. On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn’t tell Jane about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.
She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily.
Suddenly it hit me… she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head. Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it’s time to carry mom out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day.
But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn’t noticed that our life lacked intimacy. I drove to office…. jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind…I walked upstairs. Jane opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Jane, I do not want the divorce anymore.
She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Jane, I said, I won’t divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn’t value the details of our lives, not because we didn’t love each other anymore. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart. Jane seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away. At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I’ll carry you out every morning until death do us apart.
That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed -dead. My wife had been fighting CANCER for months and I was so busy with Jane to even notice. She knew that she would die soon and she wanted to save me from the whatever negative reaction from our son, in case we push through with the divorce.— At least, in the eyes of our son—- I’m a loving husband….
The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves.
So find time to be your spouse’s friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage.
..pasando las horas pensando
Niña
Tears. If you're not wiping them off my cheak, someone else will
Round&Round
-So you have deliberately deceived someone for your own selfish needs?
-Uhm.. yeah..
-...I respect that!
-Uhm.. yeah..
-...I respect that!
Questionmark
Dog nästan av boredom förut när jag plötsligt fick för mig att be random folk ställa mig random frågor om va fan som helst som jag tänkt svara på igenom bloggen såå.. here we go:
- Sniglar eller blodpudding?
Well.. blodpudding? - Silpancho eller salteñas?
Salteñitash puesh - Din största idol? (Och säg inte dig själv)
Hmm (varför får inte JAG vara ett alternativ?). Vägrar svara. - Beskriv dig själv med tre ord.
Envis, omtänksam, rolig - Leva blind eller Leva döv?
Döv helt klart. - Mjaou eller Voff?
Mjaoff! - Ett ben eller en hand?
En hand (Gabi's frågor suger...) - Dö i en brand eller Dö i vatten?
Vatten fan. Brand hade vart förjävligt asså. - Favoritfärg? Varför?
Jag skulle nog säga svart men jag är hemligt kär i rött
För att svart är mystiskt och rött är spännande. - Om du fick välja 3 superkrafter, vilka och varför?
Telekinesi, shapeshifting och att kunna heala
Har sedan jag vart liten önskat mig kraften att kunna flytta och ändra på saker igenom tankekraft och velat förvandla mig till något annat och kunna heala. Varför? Vem hade inte velat det haha!? - Hur många har du legat med?
Skit du i det. Sapa. Hahahaha - Vill du gifta dig?
Nä jag tror inte det. Har tappat hoppet haha - Vill du ha fler barn?
Näpp! - Bungy jump eller balansera på en lina över två höööga berg med vatten under dej?
Öh.. bungy jump. Hade iofs balanserat om jag hade fallskärm :) - Vilken sko storlek har du?
37-38 - Kom du och din kille överens om att ha barn eller bestämde ni det då du blitt gravid?
Enfaldigt beslut när jag fick reda på att jag var med barn - Vilka är dina drömmar?
Att jag, min familj och alla mina kära har hälsan i behåll och lever ett sunt liv. Att jobba med/hjälpa och stödja ungdomar/intagna och att min organisation växer blir en tillgång till samhället. - Hur gammal är du?
Jag fyller 23 den 19'e april - Hur mycket tycker du om mig (Geetay)?
Asså... ganska mycket.. - När bajsa du senast?
Kvinnor bajsar inte Gäbz - Saknar du mig (ingen fråga)
Ingen fråga. Inget svar. - Hur många bananer har ätit under din livstid?
Jag ogillar verkligen banan.. så.. inte så många. - När förlora du oskulden?
Well, det är en fråga jag fått många gånger och i och med att dom allra flesta nu vet att jag blev sexuellt utnyttjad som barn så får jag väl säga 10år då. - Fiser du bland folk?
.......nej? - Enorma fötter eller enorma händer?
Abnorma nötter och Abnorma tänder - Hur vill du att ditt liv ser ut om 10 år?
Utbildat mig och har fastjobb! Njuter fortfarande av familjelivet! - När du senast ljög för någon va ljög du om då?
Jag ljög för Tabi nyss om att vi skulle gå ut men Tobias får ta ut henne när han kommer hem. Jag är faktiskt handikappad. - Vad är det värsta du vet?
Oj, svår fråga. Jag vet inte men jag kan berätta vad jag kom på häromdagen som jag stör mig på: ljudet av Lego när man ska slänga in allt i Legolådan. Vet inte varför men jag får instant headache av det. - Berätta om ett minne (som din förlossning?).
Min förlossning? Det orkar jag verkligen inte skriva nu asså. Om ni vill veta så får ni kommentera så jag får reda på om ni vill veta det. Men ett annat minne då kanske? Läste min systers blogginlägg om mig där hon nämnde att hon kastat en sked på mig. Ja, hon kastade en sked på mig. Hon stod på ena sidan av gatan medan jag stod på andra och sjöng att hon inte fick gå över för mamma. Av total frustration kastar hon sin risifrutti-sked tvärs över gatan så den träffar mig på ögonlocket och jag har fortfarande ett ärr som bevisar hennes utbrott. - Vad är det bästa med att vara mamma?
Det bästa med att vara mamma är all unconditional kärlek man får. Det är överväldigande. Absolut bästa känslan i världen. Alla pussar. Alla kramar. - Vad är det sämsta med att vara mamma?
Sämsta och sämsta. Det jobbigaste med att vara mamma är oron. Om något ska hända. Eller när något händer. Ja, från första sekund till.. all evighet kommer man ständigt ha en viss oro.
Godnatt!
Dagens
Dagens frisyr: Pony tail
Dagens klädsel: Svarta harembyxor, svart tank top & lång grå hoodie
Dagens smink: None. Á la naturale
Dagens planer: Vila!
Dagens vill ha: Ompyssling
Dagens klädsel: Svarta harembyxor, svart tank top & lång grå hoodie
Dagens smink: None. Á la naturale
Dagens planer: Vila!
Dagens vill ha: Ompyssling
Dagens saknad: Sara :(
Dagens drog: Coca cola
Dagens tråkigaste: Orhans försvinnande
Dagens finaste: "Famo" Annelie, Pappa, Claudia och Lilus som hälsade på
Dagens skratt: Messis 4 mål mot Valencia
Dagens måste: Non existent
Dagens köp: Tramadol, Citodon och Diklofenak
Dagens mat: Kotletter & potatismos
Dagens frukost: Se ovan
Dagens önskan: Ny mobil
Dagens mående: Varierande
Dagens inställning: Surviver mode
Dagens låt: Miguel - Vixen
Dagens längtan: Sommar!
Dagens drog: Coca cola
Dagens tråkigaste: Orhans försvinnande
Dagens finaste: "Famo" Annelie, Pappa, Claudia och Lilus som hälsade på
Dagens skratt: Messis 4 mål mot Valencia
Dagens måste: Non existent
Dagens köp: Tramadol, Citodon och Diklofenak
Dagens mat: Kotletter & potatismos
Dagens frukost: Se ovan
Dagens önskan: Ny mobil
Dagens mående: Varierande
Dagens inställning: Surviver mode
Dagens låt: Miguel - Vixen
Dagens längtan: Sommar!
Buenas noches
Min Pocahontas
Det är dagar som denna då jag saknar min lilla syster extra mycket. Hon är min stöttepelare, andra halva, själsfrände och mycket där till. Vi är som tvillingar som känner och tänker på samma sak i samma stund utan att vi befinner oss i varandras närhet. Vi gillar samma slags filmer, kläder, musik och mat (förutom sushi, varför utsätta sig själv för sushi frivilligt när det finns god tillagad mat?). Vi är båda djur- och barnkära vilket resulterar i att barn och djur älskar oss tillbaka hehe. Jag vet inte riktigt hur men när vi var små så brukade vi ofta sitta och gissa varandras tankar igenom att stirra på varandra så vi kan numera ha en konversation utan att samtala haha true story. Jag älskar att se henne leka med Joline. Och jag älskar att Joline påminner mig så mycket om Amanda som liten. Dom är verkligen kopior. Samma temprament, samma energi så det känns som om en liten kopia av henne finns hos mig varje dag. Oh, jag kan go on and on. Mitt lilla hjärta har nyligen flyttat till Stockholm och det känns tomt här i Göteborg utan henne fastän jag är otroligt glad över att hon följer sin dröm som dansare. Jag njuter av att se henne utvecklas som person och i sin passion. Så jag tillägnar det här inlägget till henne. Jag älskar och är oerhört stolt över dig ♥
Hennes passion:
|| Vi ||
♥
Remiss!
(Ctrl+V)
Jag är så extremt lycklig (och det är inte bara för att jag nu sitter hemma och är helt moffad): Efter ha fått åka ambulans in till Mölndals akutmottagning med intensiva smärtor från ländryggen ända ner till fotsulorna har jag äntligen, efter 10 års slussande och tjötande fått en remiss till en MR!
Jag orkar knappt sitta upp just nu så jag får hoppa in och fill u guys in about some other stuff later.
Jag är så extremt lycklig (och det är inte bara för att jag nu sitter hemma och är helt moffad): Efter ha fått åka ambulans in till Mölndals akutmottagning med intensiva smärtor från ländryggen ända ner till fotsulorna har jag äntligen, efter 10 års slussande och tjötande fått en remiss till en MR!
Jag orkar knappt sitta upp just nu så jag får hoppa in och fill u guys in about some other stuff later.
Deuces
#TicTocOnMe
Act like a lady. Think like a man.
PhotoUpdate
Jag & Joline
Frökens vackra ögon
Långt hår :)
Min goding
Frökens vackra ögon
Långt hår :)
Min goding
Magsjuka
Magsjuka.. i hate u
Senaste veckan har jag vart hemma dag in o dag ut med Joline som åkte på magsjuka. Jag hatar dagisbaskelusker. Ett par dagar senare började jag själv må dåligt. Tror dock jag har klarat mig någorlunda bra. Vi har i alla fall klarat oss från kaskadspyor idag (inser att det inte är sånt ni vill läsa men i brist på annat så får ni stå ut med detta haha).
Äntligen lagt ut annonsen på barnvagnen med mera. Det är väl lika bra att sätta den HÄR oxå. Därimot har mitt snille-till-babydaddy lagt ut bilden på bilbarnstolen oxå och den ingår inte i priset så:
Brio Primo bilbarnstol.
Röd-svart och näst intill oanvänd
(ingår i Brio Sing serien och går att fästa i vagnen)
säljes inklusive bas för 800:-
Carena babysitter. Röd-svart 300:-
Bozz Gåstol 400:-
(Så, det var det..)
Just det:
Superman
You're a superman thanks to Lois Lane
Kissed away your problems when you went insane
Fished you from the bottom when you lost your name
Gave u something you could live for
